Declaration of War
This is my official declaration of war.
I would be lying to all of you if I always pretended that this whole deal doesn't have me worried, concerned, and even a little scared. Fear and sadness are always those black miasmas just on the peripherals trying to advance into my thought. They lose. It's never easy dealing with them. In fact it's a constant battle. Don't think that I just constantly wake up happy and joking. I fight, tooth and nail. It always comes down to making a conscious decision between humor and melancholy, and even though facts and events may be screaming "Despair!" I choose humor. The battle has been truly joined.
I have amazing allies. Pete and Shea called me at work and offered to pick me up a crunch wrap supreme. Sadly I didn't get the message till much later, but I certainly appreciate it. Jenny and Jess left me a box wrapped in Foxtrot cartoons, and the box contained 7 POUNDS of hershey kisses. John, Jon, and Erik have all offered beers. Karl wants to play starcraft. The list goes on and on. And for everything I am tremendously gratefull. Thanks to all of you. And seven pounds man! That's friggin' awesome, but lets remember, I'm losing weight (80!) After those kisses it'll be down to 73.
I've always been up for a good scrap. I'm very strong. I will win. And I will do so with a smile and a joke. Quasimoledos are going down. They have been evicted from Notre Dame. Melanoma is a little bitch, and it's going to get smacked around like one.
posted by Kyle @ 1:20 AM
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3 Comments:
Let battle be joined! I wish to leave you with some rousing wartime quotations to inspire you to even greater heights of victory. Remember that you always have allies in the fight against Melanoma and their vile Quasimoledos. Even Imperial Star Destroyers have their weaknesses...I still have trouble with those damn Interdictor Cruisers though. I must be discrete however, for I have long battled the Sun, creator of all that is Evil. Once that fat, floating, misshapen ball of fire tried to melt the skin off my back, and although my skin blistered and oozed, I continued to curse that lackluster ball of empty, hot gases for all I was worth. So on to some inspiring words from the likes of Winston Churchill and Saurman the Many Colored.
" ...We shall not flag nor fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France and on the seas and oceans; we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be; we shall fight on beaches, landing grounds, in fields, in streets and on the hills. We shall never surrender and even if, which I do not for the moment believe, this island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, will carry on the struggle until in God's good time the New World with all its power and might, sets forth to the liberation and rescue of the Old."
"You will not know pain, you will not know fear. You will taste man-flesh!"
I hereby volunteer to fight in the war versus melanoma and weight gain. I'm not sure what I can do against the corrupted Melanocytes, but I can sure put a hurt on a few Hershey's Kisses if you don't feel like gaining the whole 7 pounds :) You, me, your friends/family, and Dr Nick can defeat both the melanoma and the massive pile of kisses!
By the way, when I wrote "corrupted Melanocyte" as a way of describing an infected quasimoledo, all I could think of was when the Zerg take over a Terran command center. Made me laugh. Just figured I'd throw that analogy out there since everyone who reads this (besides me) seems to play Starcraft and Star Wars games.
En taro Adun.
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