The gift of John

So yesterday I got a gift from my friend John. I appreciate it, I think it's an awesome gift. I've always wanted a book of mormon for my very own. Especially since my people are the lost sixth tribe of the Isrealites. I think that's awesome.

He also gave me some hershey's kisses, a cigar, A pair of Bracers of Power, 5 mystic stones, 1 girl scout pen, and one small, yellow troll. I think all in all this is a pretty good haul, and I very much appreciate it. Especially of interest was the mini reece's peanut butter cup with the message taped to it that says, "you're a damned home wrecker Kyle." I'm not entirely sure how or what home I wrecked, but we all know that my heart is a cold, dead stone, so I'll accept that I did, in fact, wreck a home.

This girlscout pen friggin' rules. For one thing it's huge. It sort of makes me feel slightly inferior. But there's all kinds of springs and gears and sprokets and stuff inside the pen, and when I push a button it makes this donkey laugh. It really is a great pen. My thanks to John, his mother, Becky, and the girl scouts of america.

One other thing. I'm calling off the dogs. I have all the chocolate I could ever eat. I think I'm going into insulin shock. At this rate I'll die of diabetes before the cancer. Thanks for it all, and I appreciate it a lot, but really, I just got done being a giant fat-ass, I need to move in the other direction now.