Jill Carroll

So those Iraqi dogs released Jill Carroll today. Now I'm going to blame this one on the Vicodin, but I'm gonna just come right out and say it. Jill Carroll is friggin' hot. I should send her an open letter. Congrats on getting released, yadda, yadda, yadda.

On another note this vicodin leaves a nasty aftertaste in my mouth. Has anyone else had this problem? I've been trying to drink soda and coffee and stuff just to get it out.

So, yeah, my back hurts. Pretty bad, but it's getting much better. I'm going to go back to work tomorow. Oh, and I need to do my taxes. Stupid uncle sam and his fees. Why do I need his fancy interstates and military anyway?

I would totally be a libertarian if they weren't so F'ed in the head.

movies

So I watched Shrek2 earlier today. It was awesome.

Now I'm watching Team America.

Pearl Harbor Sucked, just a little more than I miss you


Freedom isn't free, it's got a hefty fucking fee. Freedom costs a buck O five.


This is the first time I've seen the dvd. The pooping is funny.

TV

I'm watching Globe Trecker right now.

I love this show. It's an hour long show about backpacking all around the world. Tonight's episode is about backpacking in Costa Rica. So this dude is going to all these totally awesome little hole in the wall resorts in Costa Rica. They're all absolutely beautifull, and they all reinforce the fact that I'm friggin' ready for a vacation!

And it'll help if there's hot chicks in bikinis around.

And beer.

Although margharitas will do in a pinch.

And really, as long as it's booze I'm not too picky.

As long as it isn't absolutely disqusting.


Hehehehe, on another note this crazy Costa Rican dude named this 20 ft. long mean crocodile Sadam Hussein. That's awesome.

I looked at it

So somewhere in the haze of vicodin I decide that I want to see what the wounds look like. I mean, the doctor took pictures of them and I saw it in the digital camera, but they were zoomed so I didn't know what size they actually were.

Well, they're each about 3 to 4 inches long. My incisions are both 2 cobis. They hurt like hell.

and so it goes

The vicodin has been called in. Damned deep incisions.

Alas poor pain. I knew him Horatio

post-op

So I just got back from the 'ol doctor's office. It ended up taking about an hour and a half and he only decided to re-exise the two places that were done earlier and came back as abnormal. But boy-howdy did he ever re-exise them. Both of the wounds are about an inch long. And he used 10 stitches in one and 12 in the other.

He told me to try taking advil, but if that doesn't fly call back and he'll call in a prescription for something else. So I'll take the advil and see how i feel in a few hours when the lidocaine wears off.

Lets see, other things. I get the stitches out in two weeks, and I'm not allowed to do any heavy lifting for at least three weeks. They also promised me that they would call me as soon as the newest biopsy results come back.

He also said something interesting. He said that usually the bleeding and stinging is the sign that moles that were probably pre-cancerous for a long time were changing into melanoma. So it's very good that I caught it when I did.

So the moral of the story? Use your sunscreen and avoid those tanning beds. And if you have a mole that starts to bleed go to the doctor.

the knife

Well, tomorow I go under the knife. It seems like this time has less cancer concern, but much deeper and wider cutting and stiches and stuff. I hope this guy does a good job of stitching me up so there's not big holes in my back. He is a plastic surgeon so hopefully he pays attention to those details. And he better give me some drugs.

But more than anything I hope that this guy is better at getting me the biopsy results in a timely fashion. If he takes a week and a half to get them back to me I'm going to be seriously pissed. But I don't think he will.

I am sort of nervous, but we'll see what happens. If nothing else I have a couple of days to play video games and watch dvds and stuff. Well, we'll see what happens.

It's great to be a Florida Gator!

Final 4 baby! Final 4!

This is a good night. And I take this as a good omen heading into the slice and dice session on Tuesday. Despite any discomfort, my heart will be warmed by the fact that Joakim Noah will soon be playing in Indianapolis for a national championship.

South Park

Alas poor chef, I knew him Horatio.

So Chef is dead. Because that fruity club scrambled his brain.

I love how South Park is taking on Scientology. Those people are messed in the head. I remember driving by Clearwater and yelling out the window, "Come out of the closet Tom, come out of the closet." It was an amazing afternoon of belittling Scientologists.

And really, it was a super episode.

Sitting next to Karl.

So I'm sitting next to karl, and he says to me.

"What's the deal Kyle? Now that it looks like your health isn't in serious risk we don't get to hear about Kyle anymore? So this is what happens, at first you post like six times a day and blow your load, and now what?"

So Karl, here you go. I will now right all the posts that I was even sort of thinking about posting about. Sorry dude, you asked for it.

listmania

I've decided that I want to make up a list of things that I would like to do during UD's spring break next week.

-SCUBA dive all week in a very warm place.
-Go sailing in a very warm place.
-Feet in sand, drink in hand (reps to Fran for that one)
-Have surgery on my nearly cancerous back.
-Visit some cool European city, I hear Amsterdam/Vienna/Innsbruck/Berlin are nice in the Spring
-Drink a half chocolate, half banana milkshake.
-Maybe watch a movie or something.
-help an old lady cross a street , the WRONG STREET! Muahahahaha! Muahahahaha! My heart is as cold and hard as a lump of coal!
-Appologize to the old lady and feel terrible for what I've done.
-Watch some tv or somethin'

So we'll see what happens.

A journey back to health.

So over the last month and a half or so the combination of working all the friggin' time and this whole cancer business has led to me not doing as well on my diet and excercise routine as I had been doing up until this point. So it's time to re-commit myself to my good friends at 1614.

When I stopped i was down 80, but I've probably gained back 10 in the last month. So my goal is to get to 100 by June 15. We'll see if it happens.

But if it doesn't, then I'll probably blame the Scientologists. Or maybe George W. He deserves blame for me falling off the wagon. That and he's totally brokeback when he wears that hat.

Rainbows are totally gay.

My run of luck continues.

The cello player dumped me yesterday. It was awesome!

Too bad she couldn't have done it before the party Friday night. I could have hit on that 19 year old friend of Heather's Sister. ;-) Just kidding, I would have to be super drunk to do something like that.

Ok, back to the hunt. Who has hot single friends within 25 miles and the age range of 22-31?

An open letter to Viacom

From: "Kyle Martin"
Subject: Support Freedom of Speech! Bring back the southpark Scientology ep.
To: press@viacom.com

Dear Sir or Madam,

It is with terrible sadness that I notice that Viacom has capitulated your basic freedom of speech and wilted before the pressure of both Catholics and now Scientologists. I would have hoped that in these troubled times a media organization would value the ideals of the free exchange of ideas. This compleat retreat saddens me greatly.

I wonder where you will stop? Will you begin to closely censor South Park? Will Carlos Mencia be bound by your cowardly decisions? Will the bullying of these extremist religious groups cause you to tie the hands of Jon Stewart?

Tom Cruise is a sniveling little sycophant. If you cave to his pressure on the South Park Scientology episode how will you stand for anything?

Please Viacom, I implore you to go find your backbone and grow a pair. The Scientology episode was one of the funniest this year. Please stand for freedom of expression and put that episode back on the schedule for Wednesday.

Sincerely,
Kyle Martin

post-doc

Ahhh yeah, I've got a Phd in lovin' baaaaby... sorry about that, on with the report from the doctor's office.

So I went to Dr. Conti's office, and here's what he had to say.

-Atypical biopsies come in five varieties. wussily abnormal, kind of weird, This bad-boy could be cancer any seccond, Melanoma - the pussy edition, and write your will you sad bastard. Mine is pre-cancerous, but the most extreme variety. He said it's good that we're getting it taken care of now because it is likely to turn cancerous this summer if left untreated.

-Although he warned me to not get too exited because when Dr. Navarro took the other biopsies he didn't get the edges. So he needs to re-excise the previous biopsies to get all of it and he'll take out two more. He tells me that there may turn out to be melanoma in those other spots, but he doubts it. Just don't get my hopes up.

-He also said that even if it does turn into cancer then it would be the pansy, wimpy variety of melanoma because we caught it early enough. He says that there's this new product that is chemotherapy in a topical ointment. Man, they're doing amazing things with topical ointments these days. And imagine, if I had a hairy back it would look like Steve Carrell from the 40 year old virgin.

-So I go back in a couple of tuesdays to have some significant cutting done, and then we'll see what those biopsies have to say. So by an large an encouraging day.

-Bonus material: This guy was also a plastic surgeon and his waiting room is amazing. The entire office has really expensive hardwood floors. The waiting room has expensive paneling and cloth wallpaper, and nice chairs and leather couches that have to be worth at least $30,000. Then he has a HUGE plasma screen tv in the waiting room and a grand piano. And since he doesn't pay someone to play it he has a really nice bose sound system hidden in a box under it so it sounds like music is coming from the piano.

-This guy also radiated a sense of competence. He took pictures of my quasimoledos to see how they evolve or don't evolve over the next few months. I feel much better about going to this guy than going to the terrifically bad Glasgow Family Practice.

An inauspicious day.

SOOTHSAYER:
Ceasar!

CAESAR
Ha! Who Calls?

CASCA
Bid every noise be still. --Peace yet again

[Music ceases]

CAESAR
Who is it in the press that calls on me?
I hear a tongue, shriller than all the music,
Cry, "Caesar"! Speak, Caesar is turn'd to hear.

SOOTHSAYER
Beware the Ides of March.

CAESAR
What man is that?

BRUTUS
A soothsayer bids you beware the Ides of March

CAESAR
Set him before me; let me see his face.

CASSIUS
Fellow, come from the throng; look upon Caesar.

CAESAR
What say'st thou to me now? Speak once again.

SOOTHSAYER
Beware the Ides of March

CAESAR
He is a dreamer; let us leave him. Pass.

Ok, so enough of that.

So, yes, I may be nervous. But enough of the last nervous posts. It's been a while since I've talked about how cool Foxtrot is. So I'll say that Foxtrot is totally cool.

And I think I might go to see Spamalot over the summer, and that has me friggin' exited. I can't wait to see that show. That magical journey into Monty Python. And I'll eat at the best BBQ place ever. Virgil's in Times Square. That place friggin' rocks.

So let's make a list of "good" and "bad"

"good"
-Foxtrot
-Spamalot
-Virgil's
-BBQ
-Starwars
-Hershey's Kisses
-Hamlet
-reveling in dorkdom
-Fun hats
-Braveheart

"bad"
-Melanoma
-Quasimoledos
-Cathy
-Family Circus
-Lesbian women's choirs who make me think about my mortality
-bears
-zombies that don't die when you cut their heads off
-weather tricking me into wearing shorts and then being but-ass cold
-the butt-crack of dawn and waking up in time for it.

Nerves

So at work tonight they showed a movie about a woman's choir. They spent a bit of time talking about this really touching song that they sang based on one of the psalms. I think they said that Mozart wrote it. Then they talked about one of their friends who was a young cellist who asked them to go sing that song for her new husband. The catch? Her young husband had terminal melanoma of the back. So they go on for like five minutes on how it helped him to die peacefully and crap like that. Let me just tell you that was not what I wanted to hear the night before I go to the dermatologist.

So yeah, despite all my bravado I suppose I should say that I am kind of nervous about tomorow. This is a pretty sucky deal to have to go through.

My prediction

Ok, so here's my prediction about what's going to happen with my doctor's appointment. I base it on no science or real knowledge. This is just my total gut prediction.

I will go to the doctor and within the next week I'll have to have a whole lot of moles cut off.

-Those biopsies will come back as pre-cancerous. One or two may be melanoma, but not a very advanced state of melanoma.

-I will get a little radiation and some more cutting. I'll be sore and tired for about a week.

-I'll go back to the dermatologist in another six months in which time I'll have some more moles removed that will be pre-cancerous or in some way atypical.

-This will be a common occurance of going to the doctor every six months to have some moles cut off before they turn into full-blown melanoma.

It may hurt, but I'll deal with it. But then I'll get better. We'll see if i'm right.

A late night phone call

7:30 - route 1 just South of rte40

hello moto: boop boop beep da beep da doo boop boop....boop boop beep da bee...

"Hello."

"Hello is Kyle there?"

"This is Kyle."

"Hello, this is Dr. Navarro, I'm calling in regards to your biopsy reports."

"Ok, go for it."

"Well Mr. Martin, Your reports have come back as atypical and I'd like to schedule a followup appointment for you to come in to talk about them, do you have one scheduled?"

"Well I did, but I cancelled it."

"............what? Why?"

"Well because I went by the office, got the biopsy printouts and faxed them to Panzer dermatologists, so they're going to see me now."

"Ok, well, uh, ok, have a good night."

"You too."

So that was the call that I received from my doctor last night at 7:30. Kind of crazy. So I'm going to the dermatologist tomorow, we'll see what happens. Tonight I get to listen to the country's oldest feminist choir. After a weekend spent with the Vagina monologues I hope my balls can deal with this added threat.

Where's the anger?

A funny thing happened this weekend. I seem to have misplaced my white-hot rage that was directed at the Glasgow Family Practice. It's not like I was going to firebomb the clinic or anything, I mean, that's so Crazy Christian Conservative, but I was going to write them an angry letter. I suppose that's so wimpy liberal pansy. But cest la vie. (And, yes, there is no middle ground between firebombing clinics and writing angry letters, this is 'Murica Damnit!)

It's not like I'm not angry at the GFP, in fact I hate them and their jerk faces. And I'm certainly not going to visit them next time my nose is sniffly. But the rage has faded to the point where it is no longer hot enough to provoke me to overcome the friction of my laziness and write them that angry letter.

Maybe it's good that I can't maintain an active hatred. I can still hate something if it is brought to my attention, but I just can't spend regular time during the day dwelling in hatred. I can't wrap it around me like a comfortable afghan, or maybe a fleece blanket. I love fleece blankets, especially if they have an Injun pattern on it. You see? Even in a post about hatred I still have to say that I love fleece blankets.

Anyway, I go back to the new docs at Panzer on Wednesday. I wonder if they'll do some cutting. They said they can't decide untill they see the remaining Quasimoledo brigade. Although I guess maybe it should be the Parisian Mob instead of a brigade. Ok, so from now on it's the remaining Quasimoledo Parisian Mob. Damned dirty, cheese eating, surrender monkeys. Melanoma even sounds french. I have no doubts that I'll defeat a french disease.

Alas poor hatred, I knew him Horatio.

New Update.

Ok, here's the latest.

After several attempts to get in contact with the doctor, the best I got was the receptionist saying, "You'r results have come back as atypical, we need you to come back in and see the doctor."

To this I responded that I was driving to the place and going to pick up the biopsy results.

They said, "Dysplastic compound nevus with focal cytological and architectural atypia."

So I make a follow up apointment with them despite the fact that I have lost all faith in the Glasgow Family Practice. A little timeline action will help you understand why.

-Wed. March1 10:30AM - Three moles are removed and sent to be biopsied. My doctor tells me that the results usually take 2 to 3 weeks.

-Fri. March 3 - Quest diagnostics files the report of the atypical biopsies.

-Thurs. March 9 3:14PM - I call Glasgow Family Practice (GFP) They tell me the report is in, they will have a nurse contact me with the info mometarily.

-Fri March 10 9:14AM - I call GFP. They tell me the Dr. will look at the report and tell me the results within the hour.

-Fri March 10 12:16PM - I call GFP. They tell me the Dr. will look at the report during his lunch break and a nurse will call me as soon as he does.

-Fri March 10 2:04PM - I call GFP. They put me on hold for 10 minutes, then they tell me two are "atypical" and I need to come in for a followup.


So there you see the timeline. Since then I have called Panzer Dermatology and have made an apointment for next week. They were very nice and jugled their busy schedule to put me in after I faxed them my results. "Mr. Martin, Dr. Conti wants to see you as soon as possible about these so instead of March 29 can you come in on March 15?"

I also talked to Laura who said, " that path report doesn't seem to equal melanoma, but it still might be so please don't get your hopes up. I think the 'focal' part is great, diffuse stuff is the bad guy." So that's the good news in this whole deal. Although I won't get my hopes up.

So bottom line, I still don't know that much more than I did before because I don't really understand the med speek, but at least things are moving forward, and I'm done being dicked around by Glasgow Family Practice. That and "atypical" doesn't have a terribly doom and gloom connotation to it. What can I say? I was an English major after all.

Edit: So I'm looking closer at the papers and they say that "atypia is present on the surgical margin of the tissue planes examined." I wonder if that means that they kind of sliced through the middle of that weirdness.

The latest

So I've called the doctor several times and they haven't gotten back to me. This makes me angry. If I dwell on it I reach a state of anger usually only reserved for UF losses to the dirty, dirty dawgs. Oh how I hate them, I loathe them!

Well I called the stupid receptionist again a few minutes ago and she assures me that as soon as the doctor has his lunch break he's going to call me with the results.

I'll believe it when I see it.

My plan at this juncture is to give him until 1:30 to call me. Then when he doesn't I'm going to drive to the doctor's office and demand that they print out my biopsy results. I'll then call several dermatologists, starting with Panzer, and beg them to let me talk to a real doctor to have my results read. I will fax them the papers.

I want to have fun this weekend and having the spectre of biopsy results hanging over my head is not a good prescription for fun.

get it? prescription? referring back to the doctor drama? hahahaha, I crack myself up sometimes.

Right now you'r saying, "That was totally lame Kyle, we have come to expect a higher calibre of jacknuttery from you."

To that I say, "suck my balls." But I assure you that statement is made in the pureist and most idylic state of friendship.

Freedom costs a buck o' five

Who wants to suggest a new doctor for me?

Ok, so waiting for these results is a terrible, terrible thing. It's very nerve wracking.

So I decide to call up the doctor's office and find out if the results have been received yet. I talk to her, and she brings up my file and says, "Oh yeah, they've been here for a few days, hasn't anyone called you about these yet?"

I reply, "no."

"Oh, well let me look at these real quick." At this moment she reads them, says, "oh." Then she says, "I'm sorry Mr. Martin, but I can't talk about these kind of results with you, I have to have a nurse call you to set up a consultation."

Then I said, "So what are you telling me? If it was clean you'd just tell me, right? And you've had these for days and decided you weren't going to call me?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Martin, you'll need to wait for the nurse to give you a call."

So who has a suggestion for a new doctor?

Oh, and we'll see how long it takes for the nurse to call me.

Edit: I mean seriously, what the Fuck? And then that lady was so chipper on the phone at first, and then her voice just totally dropped when she told me the nurse had to call me. Seriously. I'm so friggin' pissed right now.

Further update: It is now 7:25 and I have received no call from my doctor's office. It's hard enough to wait for results when I think they should be ok. But now that I know they're bad and I'm just waiting to find out the severity it's so much worse. I think it's probably good that I'm working tonight.

My gift to Karl.

This one's for you buddy.
(click on the picture to make it bigger)

Love is but a +2 broadsword away.

Katrina sent me a link to this movie tonight. I think it really speaks for itself. It is truly hilarious, and all should watch this movie so as not to fall into the hazardous pit of gaming. Really, everyone who plays D&D is just bound to be cast into the fiery pit anyway.

I've probably got to be carefull what all I say on this whole blog thing, anyone could read it and realize how much of a total loser I am. So what's the fort save for melanoma anyway?

How messed up is Pakistan?

So I was reading the news today, and I came across this.

How messed up is it that people are dying because of sharp kite string? That's like something a cheesy James Bond villain would do in the seventies. Kite string coated in glass and metal slicing people's throats. And you think we've got problems.

But I will just remind everyone that kites don't kill people, people do.

Ban the kites!

Thanks cyndi

Cyndi sent me this link. It's pretty funny. It reminds me of one of Sarah Shaw's great jokes.

How do you tell the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish Highlander? The Rolling Stones say, "Hey You, get offa my cloud!" The Scottish Highlander says, "Hey McCloud, Get offa my ewe!"

Ok, now the following is a total geek alert. I am warning you that the vast majority of you probably don't want to read what I'm going to write below.

So I bought NeverWinter Nights. It was the bundle with the two expansion packs. It's cool because you can start as a premade character from any of the expansion packs so I'm running around the city designed for 3-5 level characters as a 15th level Paladin. It's a lot of fun kicking some ass.

CNN

Well, it's apparently cancer day on CNN. That's fantastic! I think I'm going to turn off the tv and listen to some music. maybe the new (to me) death cab cd that Kalee brought me. But we'll see how it goes. I have to meet the head of the Vaginas to talk about their monologues in a few minutes.

Dr. Andrew Weil says that I should get accupuncture. We'll see about that. Oooooh, he just said I should also eat an asian mushroom, now that. I can do.

Walking in the shadow of doubt

I'm just kidding! I figured I would totally mess with you guys with that title. I'm doing ok. feeling pretty good, except one of the qasimoleholes is just a tad bit infected. But neosporin infused bandaids to the rescue!

It's hard to wait for the biopsies to come back. So I found a new thing to do to keep my mind occupied. I create fine gift baskets. You know, I weave them together then I fill them with fine cured meats and cheeses. Sometimes I put wine in them, and then I liberally sprinkle them with those hard candies whose wrappers look like strawberries. I've gotta say that they turn out very well.

Then when I'm done with the fancy gift basket I give it to a pig. Not like a glutton, but a real pig. Like one that rolls around in the mud and eats swill. Jesus said don't cast pearls before swine, but he never said anything about fine gift baskets.

I'm glad that I don't have Lung Cancer. It's sad, Dana Reeve was a total milf.

Winter olympics

So I love the Olympics, I really do. And I'm very dissapointed that the winter olympics are done. But it's always interesting to see which cities bid for the olympics and how they get them. So I was very exited when I ran into this one campaign to see who will be the host city.

I truly hope that you go to the webpage and join the throngs of people asking for the 2014 Winter Olympics to be held on Hoth. I'm personally looking forward to the Bi'Hoth'Athon.

www.hoth2014.com

The weekend

Well hello there.

Sorry I didn't do a very good job of updating this weekend, I actually had to work while at work. I know, the nerve! but anyways, here it is.

Cathie Ryan, the celtic chick, was friggin' awesome. Although she did talk a little too much between her songs, but her voice was beautifull, and more than that she gave me a three minute shout-out during the concert. She said things like I am "the jewel of all theatre TDs" Now that's just nice.

Besides that I was doing dance shows yesterday and today. Yesterday I spent all day hopped up on Tylenol with Codeign purloined from my father. It was this great haze that kept the pain at arm's length. Because you see I have this issue. When there's work to be done in my theatre I can't just sit there and watch it be done, I have to jump in and help. So as I was pushing heavy boxes and kind of tugged at my wounds and hurt a little bit.

But it's all good, Friday was pain, Saturday was a haze, and today was much nicer.

So there it is. that's the story.

Celtic Music

I want to start by appologizing to Laurie and Christine. I can't see your show tonight. I have to work a Celtic music show instead.

I really hope they have a bagpipe. It's a little known fact, but the low moaning coming from the fourth drogue of the bagpipe emits a harmonic that is very harmfull to type 3 melanoma. It's one of those new-age techniques that I've read about. Apparently it helps a lot to be slathered with mud from the Berring straight while you listen to a lone piper. And all of this is supposed to take place on a windswept hilltop in the homeland. Which I suppose would be Philadelphia, Mississippi for me.

You see all of our Choctaw people issued from a mound in Philadelphia Mississippi. We were the fourth out of the mound after the Cherokee, Creek, and Chicasaw people issued forth. I've never actually been there, but I hear that the town of Philadelphia Missisippi has a Sonic in it. I love Sonic. Especially their tots and their awesome mixed sodas. That place rules and we really need one here in Delaware.

Sonic the Hedgehog was also a very fun video game character. It was a lot of fun to roll that little guy up into a ball and have him fly around the screen powered by springs and my sega genesis.

Genesis is the first book in the bible. It flatly contradicts the whole Choctaw story of our people being created in this mound in Philadelphia Mississippi. Although Cain and Able had to marry somebody, so who knows.

Not me, that's for sure.

"laser beam"

Ok, so here's your warning. If you are squeemish then don't read the next paragraph.

That "laser beam" is bad news man. You see what happened was that when they cut off the quasimoledos they kind of left an indentation. They range from about the size of a pencil's eraser to about the size of a dime. And then what they did was shoot the leftover hole with a "laser beam"

This "laser beam" burned the skin so that it stopped the bleeding and started to form a scar. My doctor was pretty funny during this process. I commented that it smelled bad. He responded, "Yeah, it smells like summer." I gave him a quizical look and he responded, "Smells like barbecue." Hehehe.

Anyways, I have to change the dressings over the holes twice a day and put neosporin on it. Sadly, part of this entails looking at the holes. Now let me tell you, that "laser beam" made that business look terrible. It was all blackened and crispy. It seriously did look like a piece of chicken left on the grill for way too long. It is totally disqusting. I hope in the next few days it actually looks more like healing skin and less like the ruins of Tikrit.

Shae's meme thing

So apparently Shae tagged me and if I don't fill out this meme I'll be cursed for all time. Frogs will live in my toilet, locusts will drink my beer, the meme curse is very biblical. The church must have cut out the book that deals with it during the council of Illium in 143AD. So here it is.

Four jobs I've had - ice cream truck driver. Movie theater sweeper. Barista. Spotlight Operator.

Four movies I could watch over and over - Spaceballs, Three Amigos, Braveheart, Starwars IV, V, or VI

Four places I've lived - Texas, South Carolina, London, At sea matey!

Four fiction books I can't live without - Foxtrot the works, Enormously Foxtrot, Wildly FoxTrot, FoxTrot beyond a doubt.

Four non-fiction books I can't live without - Foxtrot the works, Enourmously FoxTrot, Wildly FoxTrot, FoxTrot beyond a doubt.

Four TV shows I love to watch - The Simpsons, South Park, Family guy, Shark Week Baby!!!

Four places you've been on vacation - What's with the shift between 4 places you've been and 4 places I've been? But I digress. Florida, Colorado, English Northern Land, and Dirty Mexico.

Four websites I visit daily - BigSoccer, Yahoo, Cnn, Travelzoo

Four of my favorite foods - Cheese. Hershey's kisses wrapped around chocolate centers. Enchiladas. Cheese.

Four places I'd rather be - Key West, The cool put-put course in Cozumel with the walkie-talkies to the bar, Edinburgh, The Great Barrier Reef. Oh, and Tahiti. Yeah, yeah, I know that's five, but if you don't like it you can suck it!

Four albums I can't live without - Coldplay's X&Y, Jimmy Buffet's Barometer Soup, Muse's Absolution, Flogging Molly's Drunken Lullabies.

Four bloggers to pass it on to - If you no help, then I say fuck you jobu! I do it myself.

Demise of the Empire

So I just beat the empire. I've been playing this game a long time, and I think I just amassed the largest fleet ever in the history of my game play. Karl's probably the only one that will understand this in terms of the game, but I'm talking over 350 fighter squadrons, and 20 Bullwarks in addition to a crapload of other stuff. It was pretty insane.

So now what do I do? play Neverwinter Nights? Play rebellion again and beat down the Rebellion? Kind of embrace the darkside? We shall see what I decide.

So I'm still pretty sore this morning. I think some dude came into my room last night and smacked me over the back with a whip or something. Oh well, It's starting to get better as the day wears on and I take more advil.

Hehehe, this guy on the news is named Zim. Invader Zim is a great cartoon. It was a sad day when Nickelodean stopped producing that show. It really is great, and Zim's robot, Girrrr, is the best. What a great show.

fucking ouch

That no talent ass-clown of a doctor really should have given me some drugs. This hurts like hell. And the fact that I had to reschedule another trip in 4 weeks to get more taken off and biopsied is perfectly designed to make me happy. Oh well. At least I have lots of chocolate in the house.

Although it would be much better all around if the Daily Show were new this week.

What happened at the doctor's office, part 2

This may or may not have been how my trip to the doctor's office went today.

So I showed up at the doctor's office, flashed my insurance card, payed my copay, and sat in the waiting room for a few moments in which time I read the News Journal article about the UD physics teacher who sings in the heavy metal hate bands.

So then I'm called back and the doctor comes in to look at me. He has some interesting comments, and here they are.

-The one mole on the edge of my armpit is supposedly on the mammary line and he says that it may be the growth of a third nipple and not actually a mole. Supposedly the begining stages are hard to differentiate from melanoma. But regardless it's gone now and on the way to the lab to be biopsied.

-He took the other moles to be biopsied. Two are very annoying because they're right on the end of my shoulder blades. These suck.

-So after removing them he told me that the biopsies would take 2 or 3 weeks to get the results back.

- He also said, "I'll tell you right now that I would bet that these are going to come back as abnormal so I think we'd better schedule you to come back and have more off right now. No sense waiting."

So that's the deal. He didn't even give me pain killers so now I hurt a lot. Sorry Jon, I think I'm going to bail on tonight.

What happened at the doctor's office, part1

This may or may not be the way it went at the doctor's office today.

So I showed up, flashed my insurance card, payed my copay, and after a short wait in which I read the news journal article about the white supremacist physics teacher I was called back. After they sat me in the room and took my temperature and pulse and bloodpressure and all that the nurse took a deep breath and said that they just got some visiting guests that needed a room to wait in and since the laser surgery suite was the biggest suite in the office did I mind sharing it? It ends up that the Swedish Bikini Team is in town and needed to be examined. Needless to say I was very exited.

That's when reality set in. Apparently being a world class bikini competitor takes quite the toll on the feet of these supreme athletes. So the team was having the bunnions on their feet examined. So I swallow my regret, take off my shirt, and lay down to have my quasimoledos removed. After shooting each area with Lidocaine to numb it he removed the moles. Then he picked up his "laser beam" to cauterize the wounds, but that's when he slipped. The sight was horrible as the "laser beam" sliced the arm of the nurse clean off. At least it didn't bleed. Oddly enough he perfectly removed the bunnion from the heel of the fine Swede. She was very happy with that.

But you know, I never knew that when you cut someone's arm off with a "laser beam" it just flops around on the ground. Anyway, after removing the moles he said that they may or may not be interesting and I'll find out in 2 or 3 weeks.